People online are identifying as gaybian – here’s what the term means and why some people are using it.
As conversations around gender identity and s**uality continue to evolve, people across the internet are finding terminology they feel best describes their experiences.
“Gaybian feels like the most accurate label for what I experience,” one X (formally Twitter) user wrote.
Another seemed to have discovered a label they could relate to, writing: “Wait… I might need to pull up on gaybian fr.”
While a third wrote: “That is so ultra specific and I kind of love it.”
While the term is still unfamiliar to many, it has sparked debate, even within the LGBTQ+ community, with some questioning its meaning and others embracing it as a way to describe their identity.
So, what exactly does gaybian mean, why are some people identifying with it, and why has it sparked debate?
Why are people identifying as gaybian?
“THANK YOU! You’re actually educating people,” wrote one X user expressing gratitude for another user’s explanation of several lesser-known labels, including gaybian.
Many people find it important to explore new identities, with terms like gaybian being helpful for those who don’t feel represented by other terminology, as they can more closely describe how attraction feels to them.
One Reddit user who identifies as gaybian wrote: “Personally for me, my attraction to men and women is queer. I like girls in a lesbian way and men in a gay way.”
What does gaybian mean?
According to the LGBTQIA+ Wiki, a gaybian is summarized as ‘someone who is gay and lesbian.’
The name itself combines the words ‘gay’ and ‘lesbian’, although there is more nuance behind how the label is used.
One X user who was considering whether they identified as gaybian explained that some people use the term because they love women in a woman-loving-woman (WLW) way and men in a man-loving-man (MLM) way.
For others, it’s simply a label they feel more comfortable using.
Gaybian can be used by multigender and genderfluid people to reflect a connection between their attraction and gender identity.
One Reddit user, who identifies as gaybian, wrote: “A lot of us are some type of multigender that makes us feel simultaneously male-aligned and female-aligned, so we cannot factor out our maleness from our attraction to men or our femaleness from our attraction to women.”
Multigender is an umbrella term for people who identify with more than one gender, including those who experience different genders over time or identify with multiple genders simultaneously, according to the Nonbinary Wiki.
Genderfluid is defined by Harvard Health Publishing as a ‘change over time in a person’s gender expression or gender identity, or both.’
For example, a genderfluid person may sometimes identify more closely as a man and sometimes as a woman, although experiences vary.
The LGBTQIA+ Wiki explains that a genderfluid gaybian person may describe experiencing gay attraction when they identify as a man and lesbian attraction when they identify as a woman.
Another example of a multigender gaybian could be somebody who identifies as both male and female simultaneously and experiences gay attraction to men and lesbian attraction to women.
Simply put, they may consider their male identity gay and their female identity lesbian.
Why are people using more specific identity labels?
One of the many developments of the digital age is the creation of countless online communities, some of which are made up of LGBTQ+ people.
These digital communities have allowed for deeper discussions about orientation and identity, and many more specific labels have been coined in these online spaces.
A microlabel is defined by the LGBTQIA+ Wiki as ‘a label for some form of gender identity or s**ual orientation that falls under, or otherwise overlaps with, a broader term.’
Gaybian is an example of a microlabel.
The plus sign in LGBTQ+ includes identities and orientations not explicitly represented by the other letters, including people who use more specific labels.
Across internet forums, hundreds of microlabels have been coined to describe different orientations and gender identities.
One Reddit user discussing microlabels acknowledged criticism that they can ‘turn clarity into confusion,’ while also describing them as ‘an exercise in self-understanding’ that can ‘foster online community.’
These labels can allow people to find like-minded individuals through their shared identities.
Why is gaybian debated or misunderstood?
“Just when I think I’ve learned all the terms, I find that I am in fact 13 steps behind,” wrote one X user responding to a definition of gaybian.
Like other microlabels, gaybian has been questioned by people both within and outside the LGBTQ+ community, with some finding the terminology overcomplicated.
Some have questioned why more established labels aren’t being used instead, with one X user writing: “I promise that I’m not trying to start anything, what’s so bad with being bis**ual?”
“Gaybian does exist,” another wrote in reply to comments challenging the term.
Beyond microlabels, labels in general have caused debate, with James Greig writing in i-D that labels can sometimes be restrictive or put pressure on people to define themselves before they’re ready.
Is gaybian the same as bis**ual?
One similarity between gaybian and bis**uality is that both can involve attraction to more than one gender.
One Reddit user who identifies as gaybian described their understanding of the term as a subset of bis**uality, explaining that it describes someone who is, in some way, attracted to two or more genders.
For this person, gaybian is a form of bis**uality, but others may not see it that way.
One distinction some people make is that gaybian describes experiencing attraction to men in a gay way and to women in a lesbian way, sometimes in connection with their own gender identity.
Bis**uality, meanwhile, generally describes attraction to more than one gender, without specifying how that attraction must be experienced.
Some people may identify with both labels, while others feel gaybian describes their experiences more specifically.
Although some gaybian people are multigender or genderfluid, a person’s orientation doesn’t necessarily determine their gender identity.
Where did the term gaybian come from?
Like many microlabels, the term gaybian has been used in LGBTQ+ online communities.
An example of related terminology appeared on Tumblr in 2018, using the term ‘lesbigay’ to describe someone as both lesbian and gay.
Other terms, including velaurian and lesbivincian, have also been used to describe overlapping gay and lesbian identities, although the precise origins of gaybian are unclear.
New terms can feel confusing, but for some people, these labels can be helpful.
As conversations around identity continue to evolve, more people may discover terminology that helps them understand and describe their experiences.
