An anonymous woman, 39, took to Reddit to share that her ex-husband is demanding she revert to her maiden name, as his fiancée disapproves of them sharing the same surname.
The couple, from the UK, mutually decided to divorce 12 years ago after realizing they had grown apart. However, they still maintained a healthy relationship, co-parenting their children, who were their first priority.
However, things started to take an ugly turn, when the father, 38, began dating his now fiancée a year ago.
Upon their engagement, the man asked his ex-wife to change her surname, however she refused because she wanted the same last name as her children.
The post gives further details regarding the situation: “My ex-husband has been dating this women for three years. For context, she is 24 years old. My ex and I were married for 12 years, and have been divorced for five years, we have three kids together who are now teenagers.”
“My ex and I got divorced because we were young when we met and got married and we grew apart as people.”
“It was a mutual decision, and we agreed our kids came first and have always co-parented very well. This has been the case up until the last year when his girlfriend moved in with him.”
“Previously we would do holidays and kids birthdays together, now when she is present they won’t even sit near me at our kids’ sporting events. I have always been nice to this woman, despite my kids expressing they do not like her and they feel their dad acts differently when she is around.”
Her ex-husband also admitted earlier that his new partner was not fond of her and felt “intimidated” by her.
Moreover, her children were not very thrilled by the engagement as their father never consulted them before popping the question.
Soon after the engagement, the fiancée demanded that the woman change her surname as she was not comfortable with her husband and his ex-wife sharing the same surname.
The woman explained: “My ex called me yesterday saying he is giving me a heads up that I have a year to change my last name back to my maiden name as his fiancée is expressing her distaste and concern for her and I to have the same last name when they get married.”
“I told him we agreed in our divorce that I could keep his last name until I felt the need to change it, and that is what is listed in our paperwork. I also told him I don’t want to have a different last name than our kids.”
“He said I’m being unreasonable and refusing to see how this would make his finance uncomfortable. I told him I can’t see it from her side because I am a grown up, and not an immature child like she is. He told me I could ask anyone about this situation, and everyone would agree with her.”
Hence, the woman turned to ask redditors whether she was “the asshole” for her unwillingness to change her surname.
Commentors mostly took her side, exclaiming that the fiancée, as well as the ex-husband were being unreasonable.
One user commented: “NTA. It’s not his name anymore; it’s your name. If his fiancé doesn’t want to have the same last name as you, that’s fine. She doesn’t have to take his name. Or they can change both of their names to Mr. and Mrs. Big Crybaby. But no, he does not have the right to force you to change your name. Your feelings don’t matter less than hers just because she’s the new Mrs. Crybaby.”
Another said: “The solution is pretty simple. He can change his last name to his fiancée’s. Problem solved.”
“Just spin it back on him and say that you will feel uncomfortable if his fiancée has the same name as your children so she can’t change her surname to their,” read another comment.
“If he says you sound unreasonable then tell him that how he sounds coming to you with that request because the sec you said your ‘I dos’ to him years ago that his surname became yours and you will keep it and use it as you see fit.”
A fourth wrote: “NTA. It’s not his name anymore; it’s your name. If his fiancé doesn’t want to have the same last name as you, that’s fine.”
