Demi Lovato, the powerful-voiced singer who has never shied away from talking about her life, has now set out on yet another journey of self-discovery, echoing the ongoing transformation in her professional as well as personal life.
Initially winning over hearts through her performances in Disney‘s “Camp Rock” series and then gaining fame as a best-selling pop star, Lovato has gained unprecedented popularity for her candid discussions regarding identity, mental health, and self-expression.
During the last few years, Lovato’s battle with her gender identity has been a story of survival, self-discovery, and ongoing adaptation, one that she openly shares with her audience.
In 2021, Lovato made history by coming out publicly that they were non-binary and embracing they/them pronouns as a symbol of their introspective journey and deeper understanding of who they are.
Lovato described the switch as a result of “a lot of healing and self-reflective work,” revealing that adopting they/them felt “most authentic and true” to her fluid gender identity.
“I’m a very free-spirited, open person,” she described in a previous interview, reflecting on how strict gender roles seemed limiting, especially for a person who grew up in the conservative Dallas, Texas culture.
But whereas this was a groundbreaking find for her, Lovato realized that to freely appropriate her identity was to encounter an entirely new challenge.
In a recent “GQ Hype Spain” interview, Lovato explained that the ongoing need to inform others of her name and pronoun preference had grown more exhausting.
“I constantly had to educate people and explain why I identified with those pronouns,” she explained, calling the experience “absolutely exhausting” over time.
This emotional weight led her to reclaim feminine pronouns again, while at the same time continuing to maintain her essential sense of self as a fluid being.
“I was simply tired,” Lovato confessed, acknowledging that despite being tired, she also understood the importance of raising awareness about gender inclusivity and fluidity.
Her journey is a delicate balance between personal truth and the challenges of public life, a state she has embraced with unflinching honesty.
Lovato’s choice also relates to her continued exploration of gender expression, which she explained as being inherently fluid and malleable over time.
She tweeted on the Spout Podcast in 2022 that she began using she/her pronouns once again because her energy had become more balanced between masculinity and femininity.
“When I was faced with the choice of walking into a bathroom, and it said ‘women’ and ‘men,’ I didn’t feel necessarily like a woman. I didn’t feel like a man. I just felt like a human,” she explained.
For Lovato, this ambiguity is what defines her journey, even if it doesn’t meet societal gender expectations.
Lovato also addressed the particular issues that non-binary individuals face, from the lack of gender-neutral restrooms to government forms that offer only binary options.
She described how while she often finds herself needing women’s restrooms, a gender-neutral choice would make her feel more comfortable and more in touch with her own identity.
“I see myself conditioned to choose a woman because there are no more [options],” she told “GQ,” expressing her hope for a future that offers more inclusivity.
Looking back on her treatment by the media, Lovato said she was relieved to be away from the pressure to define herself over and over.
“These are my pronouns and this is who I am,” she told Rolling Stone in a recent interview, reinforcing her frustration from over expatiation and her feeling as if she’s no longer burdened with supplying continual explanations.
She has drawn a line, announcing she is “done spoon-feeding” her life to accommodate others’ perceptions and that she is empowered in determining what aspects of her life are private.
She only recently revealed that she has come to reclaim she/her pronouns alongside they/them, explaining that her continued journey through identity has led her to deeper self-acceptance.
As she succinctly expressed it, “Nobody’s perfect. Everyone messes up pronouns at some point … it’s all about respect.”
In this letter, Lovato has penned something that speaks so deeply, highlighting the importance of empathy and respect for every individual’s own journey of identity.
